Tuesday, March 22, 2011


Dishes. Ugh. Just hearing the word irritates me. About how many times a day do the dishes in your house need to be washed? Who does them? And is there a dish washer involved? Does the chore get shared among others in your house hold or is it solely your responsibility? How many other people are dirtying those dishes besides yourself?

Heres my thing. I wash dishes at least three times a day (after each meal). Sometimes more if I'm baking, cooking for a holiday/party or a multitude of other reasons. I dont have a dish washer so I have to wash all my dishes by hand. Including the sippy cups which I despise. I clean up after all 5 of us. Even the smallest amount of dishes is a huge chore. Reason being.......Alex, Emma and William. Its like they go into this anti-washing mode anytime the faucet water turns on. As soon as I put my hands into the water and they're covered in soapy bubbles Emma needs more juice, William wants his shoes on, Alex needs me to look at his new play set, Emma wants a wipey, William needs a cracker, now Alex needs more juice, Emma's sock is twisted, Alex cant get his button fastened, William stole Emma's toy, Alex wants to know how to pronounce leaellynasaura (lee-ell-in-ah-saw-rah), Emma cant get her credit card back in her wallet, William wants 'up, up', Alex wants to know how to pronounce Jingshanosaurus (yin-shahn-oh-saw-rus), Emma wants a hug, Williams trying to eat out of the trash can, and Alex neeeeeeds to know how to say sinosauropteryx (sy-no-saw-op-tur-iks).

I do not exaggerate the situation. I have three kids that are 1, 2, and 4. They can be a handful. I haven't quite figured out the reasoning behind the dishes stressor. They can be completely engulfed in whatever toy they have or cartoon they are watching and then poof. I do dishes and they are practically climbing up my legs. I get to wash one maybe two dishes before one or more of them come running up to me. They keep me busy.

This was just a rant so no deep thoughts on this one.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Freight Train

Do you ever feel as though your barreling through life? You cant see. Its dark. Flashes of light keep you confused. The air stings your skin. Its stifling. You struggle for a breath. Filling your lungs with the scorching flames of failure. Depression seems eminent. Its coming for you in an all encompassing cloud of sadness and despair. This dreary feeling thats coming to consume you until there is nothing left. Its like a freight train screaming down the tracks. The number of cars keeps growing as it continues to pick up momentum. You feel as though you'll never escape it. The vortex its creating keeps pulling you under. You struggle to break free and then you get hit. Knocked down. By yet another disappointment. Another failure. When will it all end? Why you? You cant take much more!

Then the train begins to slow. All you can hear is the screeching of the brakes in your ears. The stench of smoke and grease fills your nostrils. Your stomach roils in fear of whats about to transpire. Then the fog clears. You open your soot filled eyes. Tears roll down your cheek. Taking with them the grime that has been your existence. Your body continues its violent purging of all things past. Your left curled on the ground. You place your palms on the cool surface below you. Running your fingers over each blade of glistening grass. The scent of freshly bloomed flowers dances over your senses. You open your eyes but after your dark journey its too much. Too soon. Your blinded by the bright rays of warmth beating down on your skin. A soft breeze wraps itself around you caressing you gently. You close your eyes tightly reaching out for something. Anything. To help you gain your balance as you try to stand. Your body is weak. Your muscles atrophied. You dont feel anything there. With one last lingering reach you grab something. It grabs you back. Frightened by this new feeling, one you cant yet comprehend, you let go. To your dismay your still rising. Being pulled to your feet. You feel the dirt being brushed away from your shoulders. That burden being released.  Dust swirls at your feet trying to cling on to all its known. Yet you stand firm. You are guided to a stream. The feel of the water rushing over your body is invigorating. You had thought you lost the ability to feel yet here you are. Your flesh pinkened in the chilly river water. Your fingers work vigorously to untangle your journey. You are elated at the cleansing effects of the river on your soul while you wash it all away. You emerge whole and complete.

You feel as though you've opened your eyes for the very first time. Seeing the world through a fresh perspective. You look around at this beautiful place. Full of life. Color. Love. Then you remember that feeling. The one that frightened you. You look around frantically for the hand that lifted you from the ground. Removed your burden and led you to the river. There is noone around. You follow the foot prints back to the spot where you laid a huddled mass. You thought you were alone but there were two sets of foot prints on the ground. So who was it that lifted you up? That was there for you when you thought you couldn't take anymore? Removing your burdens for you? Washing away your past? Allowing you a clean start?

We've all had that feeling. The one where you just cant understand why you would be put through so much. Why you cant get ahead. Why you keep getting pulled down. You feel like your gonna drown in a sea of your own emotions. You just want it to end. To find a way out. I just wanted to let you know, we've all been there.  We've all had a moment where we questioned our life. The choice is yours though. The choice on where to go from here. Are you going to reach out your hand even though you dont see anyone around?

I did.....