What Concerns Me Is.....

Why do doctors think that they can use those words and then tell us there is nothing to worry about in the next sentence. Its instinct as a parent to worry, then you use those words and instantly your breath catches.

It started almost five years ago during my first pregnancy. I was told my ultra sound showed an obstruction and I needed to see a specialist. Welcome to a 'high risk pregnancy'. Words they should never speak to a pregnant woman who needs to stay calm. Especially a first time one. The specialist concluded there was a blockage at the base of the umbilical cord. The blockage prevented most of the nutrients from reaching the baby. So, to ensure the little bit he got was all nutrition that meant I could only eat or drink things to keep him healthy. I had a stricter diet than the average pregnancy. Still, I follow directions well and the baby was thriving. Then I get told I have gestational diabetes. Once again, requiring a change in my already strict diet. And of course there is the high blood pressure that kept me at the hospital a few times. After a quick, two weeks early delivery we get to see the blockage. It was the size of a baseball and we found out that it was more severe than they had thought through the constant monitoring and if he would have waited to be born on his due date he would of been a still born. Again, not something you tell a first time mom who was already scared. Then comes the blood sugar monitoring on your newborn and throw in a little jaundice for good measure. After a few days they let us leave the hospital but say we have to do the daily hospital trip to check his numbers. A couple days later we get the all clear. No admittance. Things are looking good. That is until that 3 month check up when the doctor says he hears a murmur. A murmur? What the heck is that and what does it mean? Ill tell you what that means. It means you have to take an immediate trip to another specialist where you have to help them hold your child down on a table with wires attached to them among other things while they run their test. Then you go into another room where for the second time in one day you hear that your child definitely has a murmur and needs to go to the hospital for further testing. Ill tell you I broke down at this point. Then at the hospital while trying to be strong you get told that your child has a hole in their heart. And then you get the classic but dont worry, its small and in a good spot. A good spot? Really? My child has a hole in his heart!! Then you go in for the follow up test a while later and you get told one hole is closing up nicely. One hole? How many holes in his heart does he have?? Two to be exact. Well, back to one since the other one closed up. Another follow up is in the works for my now healthy baby boy.

Here comes baby number two. You have gestational diabetes, wait no you dont, wait yes you do. Oh hell, they never could figure it out. Nasty bad Dr. Transferred to a new Dr one visit before having my baby girl. She was a good Dr. When it was time baby girl came out so fast and so hard that she was bruised from head nearly to toe. She was purple. Her blood vessels in her eyes burst during delivery as well. She had a dislocated shoulder that healed up great. And she too had jaundice. Many blood tests, an IV, and a trip to the nursery later we were finally released from the hospital with a clean bill of health. Baby girl was still purple and we had to continue to explain to people why our daughter was bruised up. We noticed the seizures the second day after we had come home leading us to another panicked Dr visit. Baby girl was sent to the hospital for testing. Results came back clean. The seizures eased up with the healing of her bruising. It was said that she was seizing as a complication from the bruising. Possibly some swelling in the brain that relieved itself. Shes my perfectly healthy smart baby girl now.

Newest baby boy comes along with an ideal and symptom free pregnancy. Thus raising the stress level of when the bad news will hit. Well first off, he was supposed to be a she. Haha. But I've already shared that story. We only got sent to the hospital once during the pregnancy. Due to his lack of fetal movement. He was fine though and after monitoring while sucking down some super sweet juice he started to wiggle again. After what baby girl went through I had to use all my constraint to make sure his birth was easier on him. He still came so quickly that the Dr barely caught him. But she did, only before she had a chance to get her 'splash guard' in place. What a mess! Hahadont want to. Then comes today. The Dr says its just a virus and let it run its course. Then she did it. She said those words, but what concerns me.... I heard the sound. The dun dun dun echoing through my ears. I could feel it in the pit of my gut. She said he may have asthma. That could be whats causing him to get sick so much worse than the other two kiddos. Why he stays sick longer and gets such bad coughs. Then she says the cliche, but dont worry. Haha. Ya right. I'm his mom. That's what we do! I grew up with asthma and so I know how to cope with it and what its like to have it first hand. But I dont want my child to have it. All in all baby boy is also strong & healthy.

I'm glad my stories are what they are. Everything is in the past (well, except the asthma part) and my kids are healthy. I know there are so many other things that could have happened over these past few years and am grateful for the health we have.